BREAKING DOWN INSECURITY
Change your inner dialogue to create your external environment. The main predicament in emotional discipline and control is identifying the source of problems/triggers. Before you react impulsively (at least in terms of situations that you can control to not have an immediate biological reaction) - try to reflect on the source of the of the emotion. Where is it coming from and why? What is the trigger? The triggers are usually as follows:
- Lack of self control
- Lack of self awareness
- Lack of connection within
- Confusion, not knowing what you want
Observing people in my life and myself, I’ve noticed that, indisputably, the lack of life experience (in various areas) and getting outside of your own “comfort zone” is one of the main reasons that an individual has trouble with healthy self expression.
When I say “comfort zone” its mainly stepping outside your normal routine, habits, areas of confidence and into situations where you are VULNERABLE … because
VULNERBILITY CREATES PERSONAL GROWTH.
Emotional, physical, intellectual and spiritual all these pillars make up the whole self balance of all these factors are vital into understanding your vessel. You could have one area mastered and others are severely lacking, creating an internal balance. For many years my physical pillar was in chaos, and also my emotional…it wasn’t until I started to embrace myself as a whole and introduce all these areas before I could fully understand where all my insecurities and “issues” were coming from.
There comes a time when you essentially must explode…reveal…conceal…and combust... The threads of your existence begin to unravel…questions form about the path that you travel…as you stand on the edge of uncertainty, awaiting your fate….for judgement day shall never be late. Your test of faith has to be in the dark…when is it not? For the journey must be in darkness, so you can see the light. You are a bottomless and endless fathom of ambiguity. You are a chameleon.
Visualize and comprehend that you do not have a meaning or purpose of existence until you break apart from reality and accept yourself. Accept who and what you are and embrace it. It is only when you embrace your fears, that you can overcome them. Don’t fight them. Embrace them and understand where they are coming from. Realization and acceptance of my existence has initiated. In the greater schemes of reality, there is no greater picture…but only how we perceive our own perspective of life. We are as worthy as our perceptions…and our perceptions only matter to us, no one else. So why waste time complaining? DO ANYTHING YOU MUST TO EXPAND YOURSELF AND TO GROW. EXPAND YOUR KNOWLEDGE AND EXPERIENCE. AFTER ALL, YOU ARE ONLY WHAT YOU ABSORB. YOU ARE ONLY WHAT YOU EXPERIENCE. THAT IS WHAT MAKES UP YOUR EXISTENCE. I am inevitably astray.
I hate that feeling of insecurity. Its as if that confidence you’ve worked so hard to build is just suddenly shattered in a million little pieces, like broken glass, just by a sudden yet simple glance in the mirror. But remember, everything is going to be okay. Remember. You are a beautiful individual, inside and out. "All that you touch, and all that you see, is all your life will ever be." Experience. Absorb. Be.
At my worst, I question - am I a headcase? Insomnia is interesting…sometimes beneficial….giving this acute and intense emphasis on creativity and imagination. Lucid dreaming awake. The non-stop jerks and jabs of daily life. The extremity IS the point.
Shut up! Shut up! Why do you seek the reactions and validation of other people constantly? Are you that pathetic and insecure? What does it even matter what other people think of you? Thats our entire generation - our generation is concerned about the pathetic approval of others. Do you need the approval of others at such a constant rate that you would not be able to suffice without it? Do other’s opinions define you? If so, then good luck. Good luck living your life like a leech, like an insidious parasite needing the precious blood of others. Learn to fucking stand on your own two feet damn’t. If you can’t live for yourself, what is the point?
The act of obsession is both sickening and tedious. It drains you of natural flow. Your train of thought is a violent whirlpool rather than a smooth river. You must escape the whirlpool and find the river once again. Find the river and you’re on your way to smooth sailing.
SOCIETY WILL NOT SHAPE MY CONSCIOUS. I WILL NOT CONFORM TO THE STANDARDS OR EXPECTATIONS OF WHAT OTHER PEOPLE WANT ME TO BE. I AM MY OWN INDIVIDUAL AND MY OWN ENTITY.
With such limitations, you wonder what life is for….because I am always yearning for something more.